• U \/\/07 /\/\14?!

Our Story

He who looks into the abyss realizes there's nothing looking back at him and the only thing he sees is his own shadow, Ricky. You understand, bud? The abyss? The shit abyss?


Living in our own imaginary world, we use drugs to detach from Alice Land and peek into reality. Drugs can fortunately release the fake sense of self, the part of you that survives what only appears to be the real world. When the part of your brain responsible for survival in society are switched off, 'you' ocasionally glimpse behind the curtain, and see the props used in the theatrical sharade that you call real life.
Becasue I am only dreaming about waking up.
When the airplane you are on happen to go down for a crash, you might want toput your will in writing. Unfortunately, they might not find your piece, or it could get destroyed. Go by the pilot cabing and shout it out toward it, it may get picked up by the blackbox. You are welcome.
WW1 and 2 were fought by our great-grandfathers. Our generation is too smart to allow global conflict. As a possible future, WW3 has got to be viewed upon as nothing but a spectacular and unforced error by an upgraded mind.


I was on the Moon 20 minutes ago and couldn't find any evidence that anyone ever went there. I looked everywhere. Let me explain how I did it. First of all, I didn't need any experience for this launch, since people have already done it 40 years ago, right after they did nothing even close to that scope of a mission, on a 2 weeks’ notice (!), flawlessly. So I landed there, I can't remember seeing stars, I was busy looking for debris, flags, foot impressions, etc. Nothing. What a waste of Lunar trip, I could have gone to Wendy's. Fuck. On my way back, I power jumped my lunar module towards the orbiting module. Matching its velocity and angle was a piece of cake, I won't even bother explaining that part. On my way to Earth, I'm eating popcorn in zero gravity. It's boring for a couple of minutes so I'm talking to Mission Control (a friend of mine on Earth with a walkie-talkie). Mission Control is really in control - gives me permission to speak by giving me verbal queues. I'm not sure what the deal is with that, but I play along. Around 400 km from Earth, Mission Control is getting weird again. He wants me to shoot a video of earth, but using a camera with attached binoculars to its lens. I think it’s a stupid idea but I made the recording anyway. Few seconds of recording was enough, apparently, so I'm bored again and open the preview window of the cam-corder to check the clip. Earth looks like as if I was still on the Moon, looking at it. It’s a shitty recording too, you can see my arm hair showing up at some point. Lenses are funny but I gotta admit - I wasn't amused with MC first break it down for me. Back on Earth now, wondering who should be more concerned about Apollo 11: the Russians, or the people who sponsored this blockbuster.
It's not on the darkside, is it? Or it blend in with the moon surface color nicely.
Looking at brain MRI recently, I could not help but notice how much snails and human brains have in common. Just look at him stuffed up in his bony fortress (image below), protected from the environment by a hard bone hat is the skull, his most precious info gathering tools are at hands reach - I'm talking about eyes, ears, arms, etc.

Both the brain and the snail are stuffed in a shell and are slimy. Sliminess could be afforded because of the hermetic skull /shell protection and is more comfort because body feels good in slime matter.


Not very much. One that crawls to mind is the ability of the snail to get out of it's 'home' when his shell gets broken or severely outdated. Brain, however, does not leave the safe place, he has made himself an inseparable part of the body/skeleton frame. In this perspective, snail is much more versatile even tho we claim human brain is way smarter. Local evolution follows this pattern: future species are more vulnerable but a lot more smarter to confront the elements directly. For example, snails have shells but this is all they got against blizzards, earthquakes or volcanoes. Human brain builds bunkers, have fire departments and arguably is facing problems directly rather than running away from them.

Conclusion: just think of the brain as the creature that it is you, because what you see in the mirror is just an outer protective shell that your brain is looking at. Also, when you look in a mirror, try to see through the eyes, where the brain resides, try to feel what it's like to be it. See if he turns his eyes away..

I will crush your handsome arm!

One well known but little acknowledged fact: the word beautiful is used for females and objects, handsome - for men. Let me say that again: men are not beautiful, they could only be attractive.

Is the gender gap closing or what is it that it is doing? Two absolutely different words to describe male and female attractiveness? Here is my theory: Male adults are not pretty in any point of their lives, except maybe as little boys, where their grandmothers and shit may occasionally find them adorable. This counts for little girls too. Adults tho, are divided into beautiful and handsome, simply based on the presence or absence of a pair of sweaty balls.

On the contrary, the word to describe ugly males or females is one: it's motherfucking "ugly" for all gender. So why is this you ask? Well, not pretty/ugly individuals are just easy to categorize that way. Call them ugly and you don't need to know anything else.


I'm always the mood of my own mind.


I lose my mind.


The futire is here, it's just not evenly distributed.

William Gibson

We're fucked.
Do you have an idea how we might change this state of affairs?

Game of Thrones

Will you please stop blaming me for something that I did in your dream?

Niles Frasier

Be there, bitches. And no undercover cops, that shit's greasy.

Joe Rogan

Upon those who step into the same stream ever different waters flow.


You don't know what icecream taste like if you don't smoke pot. Bitch, you are living in a dream world. You've been sicking dick with a toilet paper roll on.

joe rogan

i think there 4 i piss


The only reason I know his name is because I told him mine. It was the same.


my favourite rapper is wu tang, he is sick. Seen him in concert in early 2000.


That tiger ain’t go crazy; that tiger went tiger! You know when he was really crazy? When he was riding around on a unicycle with a Hitler helmet on!

chris rock

Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing was happening. So I said to her, “What’s the matter, you can’t think of anybody either?”

rodney dangerfield

Desire, particularly male desire, is notoriously unresponsive to religious dictate, legal retribution, family pressure, self-preservation, or common sense.

christopher ryan

with the women … mind and genitals seemed scarcely to belong to the same person.

daniel bergner

i like my evil like i like my men - evil


'you know what they say, 90% of vampire hunting is waiting'

'you couldn't have told me that 90% ago?'


know the enemy and know yourself; in a hundred battles you will never be in peril. When you are ignorant of the enemy but know yourself, your chances of winning or losing are equal.

sun wu

oh abet, will your reality ever come in blue ray so we can enjoy it

jeff winger

first, why are you here? second: i dont care, leave

jeff, community

what some call failure, i call living, breakfast, and im not leaving till i've cleaned out the buffet

chevy chase

as the roaches approach


unproductive steps are important

horiyoshi III

a man who hasn't build a certain immunity to love through constant exposure to it is in danger to be all but killed by love when the first exposure comes

kurt vonnegut jr.

yeah, we all take aliens and foreigners with scrutiny. the idea that we are all equal is how long, 40 years old? it's gonna pass


the universe is designed to break your heart

burning star core


NoobSaibot Winz

I'm sorry, I'm getting my bullshit mixed up

dave mitchel

In sperm competition, the cells fight in there so males don’t have to fight out here. Instead, males can relax around one another, allowing larger group sizes, enhancing cooperation, and avoiding disruption to the social dynamic.

sex at dawn

- ive noticed the entire protoss race is pretty much a sausage fest. there's like one girl the mothership
- the probe can be a girl...
- no, artsis, the probe is a robot.




when you’re a kid, even in the projects, one kid will mercilessly snap on another kid over minor material differences, even though by the American standard, they’re both broke as shit.


twin arcs of muscles reached from his shoulders to just below his ears, their symmetry undisturbed by the intrusion of a neck, giving him the appearance of a man who had recently been forcefed a very large coat hanger.


JAMIE FOXX: So you're like a black Dick Cheney?
SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON: No, Dick Cheney is like a white me.


If the history of humanity were the clinical case history of a single human being, the diagnosis would have to be: chronic paranoid delusions, a pathological propensity to commit murder and acts of extreme violence and cruelty against his perceived “enemies” – his own unconsciousness projected outward. Criminally insane, with a few brief lucid intervals.


you know what's harder to break than bamboo? A small lego block


love may be unconditional but relationships are not

martin ucik

something cold touched my cheek, like the unwanted caress of a lover once cherished and now rejected


the waitress favored him with the same look she might have given a mosquito that had the temerity to land on her during the hoight of the West Nile virus scare.


I did confirm she hates Chris Brown so hard birds can see it in ultraviolet


skunks the word, smoking is the verb


god promises so much but delivers so little. We make fewer promises but we keep them all


marty: you know i was on a case once where the wife constanlty was nagging 'you should put it in the garbage, why don't you put anything in the garbage?'
: he should have listened to her.
marty: he did, that's where we found heris seatle experiencing a prozac shortage?!


cumwater: frosticles are you my dad
frosticles08: yea

weedamins chat

if the price is life, then you better get what you paid for


fuck me like fried potatoes on the most beautifully hungry morning of my goddamn life.

richard brautigan

the person that betrays you won’t yell out his plans to turn on you—but he might think them so loud you can practically hear it


interplanetary insanitarium




and then he got this look on his face like when you make a wrong turn in a really bad neighborhood


until we have nothing to identify ourselves with we can become who we really are


i'd rather have tarantula lay eggs in my ear than having to listen to any more of this


game of drones, tasteless


artosis: they are not quite badasses but you have to be in StarCraft to be a true badass.

tasteless: of course... otherwise you're just like bad or ass.


he could try some shenanigons.

*protoss throws down a forge*

or in this case cananigans.


hi, my name is tod and i only do things that cost a lot of money.


I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again.

oscar wilde

as soon as beauty is known by the world as beautiful, it becomes ugly.

tao te ching

Evolutionarily speaking, it is good to be paranoid, because it might save your life

(Haselton and Nettle 2006)

there's small victory there, or rather prevention of a small defeat


a person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance

Anatole France

<Matt> A catholic priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar.

<Matt> He orders a beer.


<drunkill> Because its always jammin'
<drunkill> I should name mine Bob Marley
<drunkill> fuck printers
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.


I hate looting corpses for anything other than an upgrade. I usually just loot the gold and small items... just feels more realistic to do that than strip someone naked all the time. I mean, this is Skyrim, not Baltimore.


I like my servers like I like my women. monochrome and text only.


AFK, tornado


I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.


<Sui88> 67% of girls are stupid<Vgirl> i belong with the other 13%

some chat

I want to fill a super soaker with cheap vodka and spray down other drivers. Then call the police and tell them I think they're driving drunk. Because, seriously, who would believe that story?


Tibeten monks, after twenty years or so of practise in the Himalaya, control their brain stem they can control their heart beat, blood pressure etc. After thirty years they can connect to the internet purely by meditation, setting TCP stacks in their neurons and stuff. Right now I am chatting with a monk who is sitting naked in an ice storm on his towel, his only possesion. He's using ipv6.

no idea who

and they can watch tv but only half an hour, and only cartoons, so that means no cartoon network..

mom to babysitter

i've been paid to kill you but i'll torture you for free


We are enriched not by what we possess, but by what we can do without

immanuel kant

dumb people confuse junk for valuable information, which is covered by actual shit carefully or randomly disguised as the real deal. this stuff gets easily mistaken for facts of life and not only that, but by the majority of people, because the majority of people are dumb wouldn't you agree? And than, you have a swarm of desinformed fucks spreading false information, occasionally contaminating smart chaps, at the same time the low end percentage trying to sift through shitloads of junk, fending off a shitnami of mass desinformation.


Just like most people, the computer won't respond to your voice.


Computer, make me a sandwitch or something.


these remarks are from the south end of malegender cattle traveling north.


i thought id be the woman you'd cheated on your wife with. call me a hopeless romantic!


I called for backup and you sat there like a dumb sack of shit. Only maybe worse, because, actually, on a molecular level, shit is probably fizzling with energy.

Karen Clarke

did you come to insult me in a different time zone?

simon foster

well isn't that touching on the who's down in whoville gathered around their roast beast!

john on thanksgiving

Goin' for Jihad, can't wait to see God A child of the city so my attitude's shitty. The livest type bomber out for pure drama. Period, comma, P.S. fuck your momma

la coka nostra

Holocaustic, hypnotic, psychotic, subatomic, psychopathic, hyperactive unattractive alcoholic


he has no enemies but is intensely disliked by all his friends

oscar wilde

you are only pronounced cured of cancer when you die of something else

ken wilber

one of the chains in her underwear twisted a bit


can you tell me at what point of your life reality turned left and you took sharp right


In 1972, David Carradine was hired as the star of the show Kung Fu, supposedly because Bruce Lee looked too Chinese. There was hardly any kung fu in the show, which was lucky, since Carradine fought like a gentle current pushing a corpse against a rock.

sean baby

i know a lot of people might not know this but i'm very famous


i discovered a reef that nobody had ever heard of. they even named it after me: No Brains Atoll.


i was in the middle of reciting my poem, why did you stop me?

because the eternal flames were starting to fade away

diane and carla

Mensch kann tun was er will; er kann aber nicht wollen was er will.


with men, there are some scenarios where it stops mattering how he looks. with women, it always matters.

david wong

shepard. don't usually type. i yell. so consider this message a rare honor.

urdnot ureav

as the world turns i spread like germs


science has confirmed that we are, at base, a jealous, possessive, murderous, and deceitful species just barely saved by our precarious capacity to rise above our dark essence and submit to civilized propriety.

Sex at dawn

At our most basic levels, heterosexual men and women have evolved to trick one another while selfishly pursuing zerosum, mutually antagonistic genetic agendas even though this demands the betrayal of the people we claim to love most sincerely.

seeds of confusion

it takes a character to ride a mule and right now humanity doesn't have either.

councilor udina

every time you bounce back from a bad relationship and give another try, you're picking up a set of dice made out of your own balls.

John Cheese

i hear canadians are just like americans except they read books


Allen Samuels works at an Atlantic City, N.J., casino. He's very fit, still has most of his graying hair and apparently has enough money to buy two Mercedes Benzes and fill his private airplane with frilly purple pillows. But Samuels lacks one very important thing: someone in his life who, when he decides to make a rap video, takes him aside and says "Oh, honey. No."

Claire Suddath

If you trace almost any problem back far enough, you end up at a sweaty pair of balls.

Michel Records

i can't wait till september to dismember these niggaz

the game

Conventional notions of monogamous, tilldeathdouspart marriage strain under the dead weight of a false narrative that insists we’re something else.

Sex at dawn

all tortelli men are scum. ergo, give him time, his eyes will wander, and then the rest of his slimy body will follow


alchemy is simple, but if you are simple, i can't help you


niggaz talk a lot of nonshit I choose to ignore, but war, they ain't ready for it


If the space program had the money that we gave to this guy, we'd have condos on venus

cliff clavin

one phoenix is a chinese proverb for 'useless'


just like murphy's law. i call it call of duty law: you can't do nothing.

el presador

remember that movie rocochet? you didn't beat them, you just pissed them off

el presador

i like this weapon but's overpowering in the hands of a fucking camper. like i said before, you can take the bitch out of the game, but you can't take the bitch out of the bitch.

el presador

"I came out naked in this world, and so I shall leave it!"

"But please, stay dressed the rest of the time"


witcher: say greetings to your wife

man: you can tell her yourself, it's the bearded half elf over there

witcher: so how's life with a bearded halfelf?
man: we tend not to bring our work home


He who does not sin, cast the first rock. and I shall smoketh it


Tasteless: And I chop the nerd's hands off and go "I am your father". And he is like "Omg, really?". No, man, I'm Tasteless!
Artosis: You're brutal, man, poor nerds...
Tasteless: I pull my lightsaber, nerd tries to grab it, I forcechoke him, forcepush him, take his points!


i don't have to do shit except stay black and die!